Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in heyoka_dreams' LiveJournal:

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
1:18 am	I dont tell the spiders everywhere i go. But my crafty little lovers always seem to know. I used to find my presents, always here and there. She always found the oddest spot, to drape me with her hair. I traded brown for silver, follicle for silk. I traded booze and sleepless nights, for whiskey and warm milk. I traded hair for spider webs, silver discs, and pain. I know one day i'll have the choice, and do the same again. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
4:07 am	We see things so differently you and I, And i have forgotten so much. Sometimes the web talks to me, Sometimes i listen. Ravens always lie. Is the gain ever worth the cost of tears? I forgot my oldest lesson. Of how to talk, And have noone listen. Dont forget the beer. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 29th, 2007
12:11 am	The Skunk Brothers Once upon a time there were three skunk brothers, let us call them Eric Skunk, Daryl Skunk, and Timmy Skunk. One night they were sleeping in their mother's den, when Eric Skunk said to Daryl Skunk: "Lets go leave the den and look for berries." Daryl Skunk said "Ok, lets go look for berries because they taste soooo good. I like berries." Timmy Skunk who was sleeping next to Daryl Skunk said: "But our mommy said going out of the den by ourselves is dangerous. Besides, its dark out there and i'm afraid of going outside in the dark." Eric Skunk wasn't afraid though, Eric Skunk wasn't afraid of anything. "Fine, you stay here like a little sissy, wait for mommy to bring you food. But i'm hungry now and i want food NOW. I know its out there and i'm going to get it." Daryl Skunk said: "Yeah, were hungry now. Lets go get some delicious berries." Timmy Skunk said: "Mommy's going to be angry." Eric Skunk said: "You dont have to come, we dont need little babies like you coming with us." Timmy Skunk said: "I'm not a baby, and i like berries too." So little Eric Skunk and Daryl Skunk and Timmy Skunk decided to leave their mother's den in search of berries. But not long after they left their den they ran into trouble. It had started raining and none of the little skunks liked to be wet. So Eric Skunk said to his brothers: "See that bush over there? Lets go hide in there until this rain lets up. Then we can finish looking for berries after the rain lets up." Well the little skunks didnt like being wet so much that they ran and ran and ran until they were almost at the bush. Little Timmy Skunk was the closest to the bush and as soon as he got under the leaves he came to a dead stop. There was a giant hole right in front of him!! Little Timmy Skunk stopped and tried to turn around so he could warn his brothers about the hole. Suddenly little Eric Skunk came crashing into the bush and knocked little Timmy Skunk right into the hole. Eric Skunk ran so fast that he fell into the hole too, landing right on Timmy Skunk's head. Daryl Skunk had no idea what had happened to his brothers and he ran right into the hole too. Little Timmy Skunk said: "My leg, my leg, oh my god i think i broke my leg. It hurts, oh my god it hurts." Eric Skunk and Daryl Skunk however, were not hurt, they had landed on Timmy Skunk and were fine. But the skunks were confused, because this hole was unlike any hole they had ever seen before. Eric Sunk and Daryl Skunk examined the walls while Timmy Skunk crawled under a large piece of something he had never seen before. Eric Skunk and Daryl Sunk were very puzzled by what they saw, the walls were hard and cold and they couldnt climb up them no matter how hard they tried. Their little claws could find no purchase on the walls. But the fourth wall confused them most of all. It was completely smooth and when they looked hard enough they could almost imagine they could see things beyond this wall. Little Daryl Skunk quickly igives up on the walls and goes to lie down next to little Timmy Skunk to try and make him feel better. Little Timmy Skunk was not feeling well, his leg hurt so much that he couldnt stand on it and he was starting to feel tired, even though he had only woken up a short time ago. Daryl Skunk tried to make him feel better, but Eric Skunk only made fun of him. "Ha, Ha, little baby hurt his leg. What you gonna do now little baby? I'm gonna get out of this hole and get mommy to save you little baby, then i'll be a hero." Daryl skunk quickly told Eric Skunk to shut up and leave him alone. Timmy Skunk just cried and cried. Suddenly, the hole became incredibly bright, as if it was daytime again. However all three brother skunks noticed that above them it was still dark, all of the light was coming from the mysterious fourth wall. Little did the brother skunks know however, that their mothers den was under the deck of a house. Now these little brothers didnt know what a deck or a house or even what human beings were. But now they found themselves face to face with them. A human was looking right at them. "Dude, dude fuckin get in here. Their's fucking skunks in your fucking window well dude." The brother skunks were soon looking at two large faces staring back at them. The three brothers didnt know what to make of the scraping sound that followed soon after. They were flooded with foreign smells that they had never smelled before. The brother skunks waited and waited until finaqlly the two large faces were gone. Hour after hour passed and the brothers got hungrier and hungrier. Soon it was daylight and the brothers could see individual rays of sunlight that pierced the leaves of the bush above them. The day dragged on and on and the brothers got hungrier and hungrier. Soon little Eric Skunk was complaining. "I'm hungry, i need food. I am soooooo hungry." Daryl Skunk was scared, both because he was hungry and because little Timmy wasn't moving much. All three of the skunks waited for their mother to rescue them until it became dark again. Night had fallen several hours earlier, and little Timmy hadnt moved in quite some time. Little Eric Skunk was pacing the walls of their little cell, complaining constantly about how hungry he was. Daryl Skunk was getting very worried though because Timmy skunk would't wake up no matter how much he tried to get him to move. "Wake up Timmy, wake up. Please wake up." Little Daryl soon was so frantic that he was running around the walls and trying to get out. "Gotta get out, gotta get out." He kept chanting over and over. Little Eric Skunk wasn't paying attention to him however, he was starving and was now trying to wake up little Timmy Skunk. "Wake up you sissy, i bet your just faking. Come on, wake up." But little Timmy couldn't wake up because he was stone dead. He died hours ago and his stupid selfish brothers didn't notice. Little Eric Skunk noticed that Timmy was dead. He was so hungry that he felt little remorse as he started to nibble on his brothers head. Little Eric chewed and chewed on his brothers skull until he had eaten his entire brain. "Timmy wont notice, besides, i'm hungry.", he said. Little Daryl Skunk was in a perpetual panic at this point. He was scrabbling up the walls and he kept muttering "Gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out." Suddenly, the blinding light that came from the fourth wall was back again. Daryl Skunk kept pacing the walls, fearing what this might mean. Eric Skunk was just hungry and could only wonder if this new development could mean more food. After much noise from the humans a large structure that smelled of food appeared in the hole. Daryl Skunk only muttered to himself, "Gotta get out, gotta get out." Eric Skunk however, was completely consumed by the smell of food. He was so enamored by the smell, that he climbed into the structure. He felt the sensation of weightlessness as the cage was lifted from the window well into the bedroom that it was right outside. The humans marveled at the little skunk that they had inside the cage. They opened the door of the cage and urged the little baby skunk to come out. Little Eric Skunk came out of the cage reluctantly and blinked at the new world that he saw. The last thing he saw however was the bottom of a human's shoe. It came down with such speed that he barely comprehended what he was seeing. It was "Oh look at that." and then the shoe crushed his fucking skull. Because he was a FUCKING ZOMBIE SKUNK!! HE ATE HIS FUCKING BROTHERS SKULL!!! HE DESERVED TO FUCKING DIE BEFORE HE SPREAD HIS SICKNESS TO THE WORLD!!! The humans stomped and stomped until the fucking skunk was a grease stain on the tiled floor beneath their feet. Then they caught the other skunk that was frantically trying to escape because it too had fed upon its brother's flesh and knew that death was coming soon. After they managed to get it into the cage, they shook the cage until the skunk could barely draw a breath. Then the two humans dropped the cage into the bathtub and turned the water on. They killed that fucking skunk and laughed all the while as they were doing it. The moral of the story? Dont be a zombie fucking skunk. The end. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
1:31 pm	Feed, Live, and burn. Let my prayers mix with your smoke, and carry them with you on your way to heaven. Take me away. Cleanse the deadwood, and leave the ashes. Let what is left be cleansed, and stronger. Tell them i say, "Thank you" And that I pray. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
7:10 am	If i open up my veins and watch as their contents drip drop drip drop onto the cool floor. Is it not me that pools and splatters among the floorboards, dirt, and old magazines? And if it is not my body that is the essence of me, then what is? My mind? And if my mind is never here, and i dont know where "there" is. Am i even me? If i never find the path, does that mean i never looked for it? Is your soul saved? And if so, saved from what? Are you afraid you will lose it? Maybe if you save it long enough you can buy some sweet astral plane property with it. If i never find the real me, does it matter then if i never find the real you? Or even if i did, would i even know it? Or maybe i would just continue to stare. Stare at nothing like its some kind of gift. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 21st, 2005
3:27 pm	both versions, gmail is stupid And this is what was written on her back: As his lover writhed naked on the bed before him; legs spread wide and inviting. He was overcome with a sudden urge. He rushed to his implements and began furiously administering his passion to her through his pen. Feverishly he worked, with a passion so red it blurred his vision as he wrote down the only thoughts that mattered. And with every stroke of the pen, every word carefully etched into her pale skin; she moaned and struggled against her restraints. She begged him to stop and fuck her, but he had to finish. And this is what he wrote over and over on her naked flesh. “My pet, my toy, my plaything, my whore, know my touch and feel my love.” And this is what was written: as his lover lay naked before him. He was overcome with a sudden urge He rushed to his pen and began to furiously show his passion to her with it. He worked so feverishly that his vision blurred at the sight of the only words that mattered and with every letter, every word that he etched into her skin, she breathed in a little deeper. She never asked him to stop. Never once did she beg him to fuck her. And he wouldnt have stopped if she had, couldnt have stopped and this is what he wrote: my pet my toy my plaything my whore; know my touch and feel my love. (Comment on this)
Friday, October 14th, 2005
3:42 am	Fishing for old coins in a sea of grass. The days haul in a pile on the wagon next to some empty coke bottles. Doesn't amount to much. But then it never does. Since the accident, he's always been good at finding what he looks for. Since the accident, he's never been able to see what he finds. He never shows them to anyone. Never tells anyone. He appreciates his treasure, his horde, at night when everyone else is asleep. I dont have the heart to tell him what they really are. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
2:29 am	I woke up late this morning and one of us was crying. fire and ice, so prolific even heathens know of its glory pain and reckoning, gifts to be closely guarded silence and patience, the twin forces of destruction the tunnel and the sky, tread upon both, but remember your past fire and forest, the entangled lovers All these and more, I give to you by merit, and by rite of blood, my son. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
11:12 pm	The daughters of Inktome leave presents for me everywhere i go. Grandfather says that means they like me. I know logically that doesnt mean they want to marry me, still the thought makes me shudder. Every time i pull a veil of spiders silk from my face, i imagine a spiders face on a womans body waiting for me at the marriage altar. Lately i wonder if that wouldnt be preferable, just to let nature decide for me my mate. I certainly have no knack for it. And i wonder idly from time to time if a spiders company wouldnt be preferable to that of other people. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
1:07 am	People ask me if im ok. I resist the urge constantly to just scream in their faces. (Everythings fine, dont i look fine?) I wear a necklace made of vertebrae and bracelets made of scars. They make me look cool, like i just find this shit on the street. (dont tell anyone my secret) I mostly keep to myself. And play with knives when people think i dont know their looking. (dont i look cool?) People are uncomfortable around me. (arent i cool?) Sometimes i forget why. (they all hate you) I have never hurt another human being. (dont tell my secret) This isnt how its supposed to happen. (another link in the chain) I cant talk to them anymore. (monkeys) Somewhere along the way i forgot the language. Every day theres less of us and more of them. I would tell someone about it. But i forgot the language. (Us?) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
7:39 am	"Love me or I'll do it" You know i love you. Please put it down. "Love me huh? Prove it! Or I'll do it!" Please, I love you, just dont do this. Just take it away from your neck. "You see what your making me do to us! Give me everything I want." OK, Ok Ill give you everything you want, everything you need, everything that i have to give. Just please put it down and dont do this, I love you. "Heh, funny thing is you took too long. Now i want to do it anyways." (black) (Comment on this)
Friday, April 8th, 2005
5:03 am	we wear so many concepts on our faces things are written the radiant one has stolen my heart displaying love on my wrist i cannot express the things i feel that makes me want to consummate in steel beautiful radaint effortlessly radiant mine love possessing but not grasping holding without keeping all-encompassing yet not encumbering holding but never holding back pushing yet never pushing away intense I can no longer write. If i were to write for you the words wouldnt be enough to describe what i see, when i look into your eyes. i can say that your beautiful, but even the word 'beauty' isnt adequate enough to describe what i see. I can use the word radiant, but it can never come close to explaining how you burn like a thousand suns in my mind. Like a beacon in the night the thought of you guides me to the distant shore. A yaqui warror once took six paragraphs to describe how the lack of effort to stay on a course indicated how right that course was. One look at your smile could have told me that. I can say that i want you in my life. But that doesnt come close to desrcibing how much i want to be there for you. To be with you for the good and bad times. How much i want to let you in my heart. So i am sorry my love. I cannot write for you. I cannot painstakingly hunt down every word in the english language i could use to describe you and how i feel for you. All i can do is try to let you know little by little just how much you mean to me, for as long as that takes. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
5:08 pm	Far from here; in the west, is a strange land full of wonders. Where the animals talk and the dreams of the land lie on the surface like ripples on a pond. In this place where the boundaries are weaker, pale demons will strip the land of its very life, and young men search for eagle stones. It is home to coyote and raven, first man and the thunderbirds; a land of peace and danger, turmoil and timelessness. Noone wants to go there, but some find their way regardless. Sometimes i think it waits for me, just over the next hill. (Comment on this)